


Love Is A Ten Letter Word [Vol. 4]

by dreamofmetonight



Series: Love Is A Ten Letter Word [4]
Category: P!ATD - Fandom, Panic At The Disco, Panic! at the Disco, PatD
Genre: Amorephine, Angst, Blood, Blowjobs, Brendon Urie - Freeform, Car Sex, Cheating, Clothes, Crying, Death, Don't Enter Unless You Have Tissues, Drugs, Dry Humping, Emo Elmo, Emotional, Eurie, Falling In Love, Gabe Saporta - Freeform, Gay, Guilt, Guns, Gunshot, Guyliner, Heartbreak, Hospitals, IVs, Illness, Jon Walker - Freeform, Las Vegas, Lots of Crying, Love, M/M, Music, P!ATD, PSTD, Panic at the Disco - Freeform, Panic! at the Disco - Freeform, Parties, Rape, Rosevest, Ryan Ross - Freeform, Sickness, Spencer Smith - Freeform, Tissues will be needed, Unacceptance, Unaccepted, Violence, Weed, William Beckett - Freeform, fashion - Freeform, handjobs, patd - Freeform, patrick stump - Freeform, pete wentz - Freeform, smoothie hut, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-25
Updated: 2014-03-07
Packaged: 2018-01-13 17:09:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1234477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamofmetonight/pseuds/dreamofmetonight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My name is Ryan Ross, I work at Smoothie Hut, and Brendon Urie has been shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1am

**Chapter 1: 1am**

* * *

                “I came as fast as I could!” William yells as soon as the automatic doors open, disrupting everyone in the waiting room, “has he come out of surgery yet?” he comes running towards me and captures me in a bear hug.

                “They haven’t told me anything,” I sniffle and rest my cheek on his chest, “Don’t want this to happen again—not fair—need Brendon” my voice comes off in choked sobs not able to make proper sentences. My nails cling to William’s shirt, holding onto him for dear life. If I let go I might just fall apart. I don’t know how long I’ve been waiting without hearing any word about Brendon.

                “It’s 1am, Ryan” It’s 1am? How did it get so late? “You should probably get some sleep. Gabe’s in the car to take you back to Brendon’s and I’ll stay here,” William rubs my back softly.

                “I want to stay here—needs me here—can’t sleep,” my voice once again not able to choke out sentences, “Need to make sure he’s okay—his parents are coming soon” I don’t know that for sure. But I assume that would be the case. And Zack is probably be on his way now ready to kill me for letting this happen to Brendon. What did happen with Brendon? All of a sudden I was about to—was it because I was about to jerk him off? Maybe we’re not supposed to have sex now. Too many bad things happen.

                “Do you want me to stay here?” William pulls away, pulling me along to a chair. “I’ll ask Gabe to get some coffee—good coffee not that shitty stuff—and to bring you a change of clothes” He looks me up and down, and then bites at his lip, “You’re covered in blood”

                “No time to change—had to help—ambulance guys took me away faster” It isn’t until now that I realize that my hands are shaking. William quickly grabs my hands and stares at them.

                “Did they check you out too,” he snaps, his voice rushed, turning my hands over in his hands.

                “I’m fine”

                “I’m getting you checked out too,” he picks me up from the chair by my arm, and marches over to the receptionist. “My friend needs to get checked out” The female receptionist rolls her eyes.

                “Is he having an emergency,” she sighs out, and cocks her head to the side. If we weren’t in a hospital right now William would have grabbed by her pink hair and taken her down.

                “Well,” he leans over the counter, “aren’t you and the doctors supposed to figure that out” His eyes dart to her name tag, “Lisa” She throws a brown clipboard at William.

                “Fill that out and we’ll be with him as soon as we can,” she turns back towards to her computer. “Your boyfriend is out of surgery by the way,” she says matter-of-factly. “Doctors will be out soon to talk to you” She pops her bubblegum her fingers clacking on the keys as she goes back to her work.

                “We should fill this out,” William adds softly, and holds up the clipboard in his left hand.

                “Want to stay—he needs me,” I stutter out. He takes me by my arm and sits me down in a chair. “Doctor will come—he’ll think I left” Yeah, maybe something is wrong with me. Sentences aren’t connecting and I can’t stop shaking.

                “When was your last period?” Williams asks with a smile. I glare at him. “Okay, I guess it started today then. Any chance you might be pregnant?” I glare at him again. “Luckily after this past year I got to know you pretty well”

                “Don’t make me go—need to stay here—wait for Brendon”

                William sighs, and shakes his head, “As soon as you see him you’re going to see a doctor, alright?” I nod quickly excitedly. The last time I was in the hospital was yesterday—technically two days ago.

It’s today now. He hands me the clipboard. “I’m going to head outside and talk to Gabe about bringing us some coffee” He clasps my knee with his hand, and then pats it as he stands. A sigh leaves his lips, his tall frame leaving through those automatic doors that I’ve been through hours before and years before.

                Please don’t let Brendon turn into Jon. I drop the clipboard to the floor, feeling myself flinch at my own sound. I just need to be near Brendon and I’ll be okay again. He always calms down. I haven’t touched weed since William drugged me, and I haven’t touched any alcohol. I run my shaking hands through my dirty hair that I should have washed. I can’t lose him. I know that the doctors said that he’s out of surgery but that could mean a lot of th—

                “Mr. Ryan Ross?” I quickly look up at the sound of my name being called. I think I’m going to be sick. “Is there a Ryan Ross here?” I look down at my feet, and will myself to stand up and walk towards the voice. I find my footing, and jog over to the white haired paramedic who was helping in the ambulance. He flips through pages on a silver clipboard as he wets his lips. “So, we were able to get the bullet out—clean exit wound—he’s lucky. He lost a lot of blood—he’s got a rare blood type AB negative—we’re transfusing blood through an IV line right now” His eyes glance from the board up to mine. “The police are asking him some questions right no—“

                “He’s awake?” My hands instantly stop shaking. Brendon is my fix and I’m an addict.

                “He’s groggy. But yes. Because he’s over the age of consent we didn’t call his parents or anyone of his family. “It’s part of a law that’s going into effect,” he rolls his eyes and I can’t help but smile. Doctors normally stick to the textbook. “You were found with him that’s why I’m asking you what we should do”

                “I’ll ask him what he wants to do when I get to talk to him,” my voice suddenly confident and no longer choking off sobs.

                “Good—good. The police just want to get as much information as they can. They already interviewed you about the attack” They did? I don’t remember it. I don’t remember a lot about this night. Everything is a blur. “Do you want me to show you to where his room is?” I nod slowly, feeling the urge to throw up bubble from my stomach up to my throat as he walk to his room. What if he doesn’t remember me? He might have had suffered amnesia like one of those soap operas or a shitty Hallmark movie that seems to be our life. He wakes up and doesn’t remember his boyfriend, and another guy swoops in and takes him off his feet and I’m left beh— “Here’s his room. Judging by the lack of police I think it’s safe to go in. He’ll probably be groggy and irritable so don’t take that personally”

                “How does everyone know he’s my boyfriend,” I blurt out not even sure where that came from.

                “You told the operator that he was your boyfriend. We get that information so that we know what to write on the forms. There’s been some debate on what we should write on the forms with the gay marriage thing and stuff. We have to write friend on the forms but it’s always nice to know how we should treat our guests” I stand there dumbfounded. I—I ousted us being together didn’t I? Without Brendon’s permission. He’s going to hate me. “He’s probably waiting for you” He smiles, and walks away from the room down the hallway towards the emergency room. I feel like I should have flowers or a stuffed animal—something to make him feel better. But I don’t have anything. I stare at the blank wall, trying to build up as much confidence as I can.

                I knock on the open door, walking as I go.

                “Smoothie Boy!” He smiles with his megawatt smile I love so much. But he looks like he’s just been through the war. His golden tan is gone and it’s replaced with pale translucent skin. His hands and arms are covered in what looks like track-marks. Probably from the IVs they had on him during surgery. His pointer finger has an oximetry machine on it and his right hand has an IV connected to it. Not even beautiful creature’s sex god like appearance can beat a gunshot.

                “I—I—Um, I ousted us as being together when I was talking to 911,” I pull a chair up to Brendon, the wooden legs scraping against the floor. “It just fell out of my mouth. I was really worried about you and I was trying to help and an—“

                “Ry—I almost died today but you saved me. When the doctors came in to talk to me they said that if the EMTs got there a few minutes later I would have died—I want the world to know about us,” his voice is weak, and his eyes are sunken in. “I got a single room. What a life, right?” I laughs nervously, and pull my legs up against my chest when I sit down in the chair. How could he be so okay about this?

                “I thought you were going to die on me, Brendon. I was terrified—I still am—that I was going to lose you. I sound like a needy and clingy schoolgirl, but I can’t lose you,” I wipe away a tear with the side of my pointer finger, “the doctors want to know if you they should call your parents” Brendon sighs.

                “Can you close the door?” he asks, his eyes focused on his feet that are covered under a red scratchy hospital blanket that I hated while I was in here. I think this might be a record for me. I’ve been to the hospital twice this week. I push the chair back again, and walk over to the door, pushing it closed. “My parents are the reason this happened” He groans as he pushes himself up in bed.

                “Let me help,” I run over to his side, and grab the remote for the bed, “these are a lot of fun when you get used to them. Not fun to sleep in but they’re cool to play with” I glide my finger over the upside button and Brendon starts to sit up. Brendon takes the remote back and puts it next to him.

                “Yeah—those beds that allow you to press two different comfort settings for each side of the bed?” he cracks a smile, and then violently coughs spit up falling onto his chin. “Pink bucket on the floor,” he chokes out. I spot the bucket on the floor, and quickly hand it to him. He instantly starts puking a brown and green substance into the bucket. I rest my hand on his back and move my hand around in circles.

                “It’ll be over soon, Bren. You’ll out of the hospital soon. Then we can go back to our—your place and we can watch a marathon of Disney movie with all of the ice cream you want” It hurts me to see him puking over a bucket like this. This isn’t right at all. He shouldn’t have to deal with this. At least not alone. “Do you want me to call a nurse? They can get you something to soothe your stomach” Brendon shakes his head slowly, wiping his mouth off on his gown. We should talk about what happened but I’m afraid that I’ll spook him or freak him out.

                “It’s just a reaction from the medication they’re giving me” He lays the bucket on the hospital tray. “My parents giving me Eurie and Amorephine for so long is counteracting the meds they’re giving me. It’s a nasty combination” I reach for his hand and run my thumb over the yellow masking tape that’s keeping his IV in. My eyes drift up to Brendon’s, and I gnaw at my lip contemplating if I should ask him about contacting his parents again. He shouldn’t be without his family but—fuck it. I’ll ask him.

“You should call your parents. Or at least Zack—if he doesn’t know yet. You need family right now even if they are drug dealers who don’t support you in who you love.” I shake my head my eyes drifting down to his hand. “If I had the chance to repair my relationship with my par—“

                “You didn’t call your parents when William overdosed you—why the hell should I?” Brendon suddenly snaps at me.

                “They didn’t want me in their lives anymore, Brendon. Your parents sent Zack with you to keep you safe. My parents made me find my own way. They didn’t give me a house and kept afloat. I have to pay for my rent and my phone bill, and figure out how the hell I’m going to be able to afford getting to your house. I certainly can’t afford a car or the bus,” I suck in a breathe, “Your parents care about you”

                “If they care about me they wouldn’t have forced their _own_ drugs down _my_ throat. They are my parents. They are supposed to love me not change me Ryan. I got shot because of them. Whoever shot up my house targeted me because I’m related to them!” The heart monitor starts to go crazy as he clenches his fist.

                “Hey—hey—Brendon calm down. I’m sorry. It just hurts me to see you like this without your family being here” I scramble up from the chair and give him a tight lipped kiss instantly feeling those butterflies once again. The monitor instantly stops going crazy and calms down as I deepen the kiss. He chuckles lightly. I furrow my brows and pull back instantly feeling insecure. Did I do something wrong?

                “We’re going to have to wait for that until we get home,” he smiles looking so much more like Brendon. “Anyone could walk through that door and it would be completely embarrassing” I pout and cross my arms. I can’t kiss him for—

                “How long are you supposed to be here for?”

                “Can you last a week or two?” He smirks, and then bites his lip—oh my god this is going to be tough. “When we get back home—we can—if you want” I sit back down in the chair and take his hand rubbing my thumb along the tape. I should talk about how he’s feeling after getting shot and that I should push him to call his parents or Zack. But I don’t want to rush him.

                “Brendon—I’m okay with waiting for sex. I want to make sure you’re ready especially after what just happened with you getting shot and shit” I feel like no matter what I say won’t comfort him. And I hate it. I wish that was there some magical sentence or word that could make everything better.

                “Ryan it’s fin—shit your birthday party,” his voice frantic, “I still need to plan it and talk to William and Kelti—“

                “Hey,” my voice soft, “I don’t care about having a party. I only care about you getting better”

                “We agreed that I would throw you a party and I’ll damned if I don’t throw you one. I’ll be out by the time of your party. William and Keltie can just come here and we can work everything out from here. It’ll be hard but we can figure it out. I have a phone at least and I can work on a computer from here and figure things out. It might be a good thing so that you can’t spy on what I’m doing”

                “I think you should rest before you think about any kind of parties,” I give him a half smile and suppress a sudden yawn. “You’re going to get a line of visitors in the morning—uh—later today”

                “You should get some sleep too Smoothie Boy” He smiles, wincing as he moves over in his bed. “If you squeeze in there should be enough room for us both”

                “Bren—it would mess up all of your IVs and I don’t want to do that. Might be better if I just curled up in this chair and fell asleep” I let go of his hand attempting to get comfortable in the chair.

                “But I’m _so_ cold,” he pouts and then shivers. I roll my eyes.

                “I can get you another blanket if you’re that cold”

                “You’re such a tease Smoothie Boy,” he whines and pulls the blankets over top of him once again wincing as he does so. I get up from my chair and pull the red scratchy covers up over him and tuck him in. “You’re being very motherly right now” I smirk at him and fluff his pillow.

                “I like to help out my boyfriend in whatever way I can”

                “If you really meant that you wouldn’t be punishing me by not sleeping next to me”

                “It’s not punishment. I wish that I could sleep next to you. The best part of my morning is waking up next to you and feeling your breathing against my back. I feel completely safe in your arms, Brendon. I can’t do that right now though” I press my lips up against his forehead and then pull away. “I’ll be right next to you and if you wake up at any point of the night and needs me—just wake me up”

                “What if have a nightmare?” He looks up at me like scared a little boy who is afraid of the monster in the closet. In this case, he might be.

                “Then I’ll be right next to you and you can wake me up and we can talk about what happened. Or we can just talk about anything you want. I can try and sneak you in some food and I can bring in some movies and we can watch them together”

                “I’m afraid to sleep alone—afraid to” His hands start shaking and I sigh as my eyes drift from the machines down to Brendon.

                “I’ll sleep with you as long as you call your parents—“

                “Don’t do that R—“

                “They need to know that you’re ok—“

                “They don’t even know that I got sho—“

                “Zack should at least know since he’s supposed to be protecting you”

                “And he was _so_ good at his job that he got me shot”

                “At least let me call them to let them know what happened and that you’re okay”

                “They’re going to want to come to Las Vegas and they’re going to judge us,” he mumbles, “they always judged my relationships”

                “Let them come here, Bren,” I squeeze his hand. “I’m not going anywhere and I’ll protect you just like you protected me with Pete back on the first day we met” Brendon exhales.

                “You can call them tomorrow” He yawns his eyes starting to close. “Sleep now”

                “If we get in trouble for this I’m blaming you” I eye the IV in his right hand. “Roll over on your side facing the window and I’ll sneak in behind you. It’s time for you to be the little spoon”

                “I know how much you like being a little spoon so is it oka—“

                “Brendon—I’m fine being the large spoon—just roll over and be careful” Brendon nods and then rolls over onto his side. “Your doctors are going to kill me and ban me from seeing you”

                “I’ll just donate something to the hospital—mind as well burn my parent’s money”

                “You are not allowed to burn your parent’s money by buying me something expensive for my birthday” I push the tray away with the vomit bucket away from the bed and move the remote control out of the way.

                “But what if I find the perfect gift for you?”

                “Brendon—I live in an apartment that has rats. Do you honestly think I’m a flashy person?” I run my hand over my back pocket of my jeans and take my cell phone out placing it on the side table near Brendon’s hospital bed. They gave him a special room. I didn’t expect any different from Brendon. He may not be a flashy person on the outside but he is definitely privileged.

                “Speaking of your apartment” He exhales and then winches obviously in pain. “Is there any way that you would want to move in with me—for real? I know it’s a big step and we haven’t known each other for a while bu—“

                “Yes—totally—yes,” I quickly blurt out, a goofy smile leaking out onto my lips. I slip over the top of the bars of the hospital bed and squish myself up against his back.

                “Can you—,” he doesn’t finish his thought but instead wraps my arms around his stomach where the stitches currently are. “Hurts less when your hands are on it”

                “Might be because my hands are always cold. They are probably soothing the irritated ski—“

                “What if I got you a guitar?”

                “You already got me a guitar Brendon. I don’t need anything else” I sigh and kiss the nape of his neck. “I’m as happy as I could be right now”

                “What if I got you a puppy?”

                “I don’t want a puppy—do you want a puppy?”

                “I always wanted a dog or a cat—any animal really. My parents are allergic so we couldn’t have one. One time I had tried to sneak one into the house but Zack caught me. He took the dog in for me. We named him Rex an—“

                “That is the most common dog name in the entire universe.”

                “I was eleven what do you expect?”

                “If you got another dog would you name him/her Rex too?”

                “Do you honestly expect me, a 24 year old man to name a dog Rex?”

                “You would, wouldn’t you?”

                He sighs, “Yeah. I would.”

                “You are cornier than a Disney movie.” I let out a huge yawn my eyelids feeling extremely heavy.

                “Disney movies make things better. There’s nothing like gunshots and drug dealing happening in them. You don’t have to deal with rat filled apartments and Smoothie Huts in Disney movie. Or unaccepting parents. Those movies are perfect in every way—they always get the perfect endings”

                “Not for the villains.”

                “But they’re the villains. They shouldn’t get the happy endings. The heroes and the heroine should. We live in a fucked up world where all of the villains and homophobes win. I want my life to end up being like a Disney movie. Where no one gets raped and no one dies. Everything’s perfect”

                I place a small kiss on Brendon’s shoulder blade, “William’s mother wasn’t okay with him being gay. She hated him and condemned him to hell and kicked him out. Exactly like my parents did but his mom ended up accepting him after a while. She still loves him and she supports him now. They supported each other when his dad left them. Their relationship is complicated now but they still love each other. She used to be a homophobe but she’s changed now. Sometimes the villains in our lives, and in Disney movies are just misguided and confused. Giving _all_ villains an unhappy ending means that they can’t change and grow and change their opinions.”

                “What about what happened with _him_? Does he _deserve_ a second chance?”

                “Of course not, Brendon. I’m speaking for some people. Your parents could change their minds if they see how happy you are. They still support you financially so they still care about you and want you to be happy”

                “They drugged me, Ryan”

                “And I’m not defending that at all, Bren” I breathe in and then exhale as I try to match my breathing with his. “What they did was awful. To force you to take medication if you wanted to stay in their home. When I was trying to discover who I was I googled stories about parents who disowned their kids because they were gay a lot of people said that their parents eventually accepted them. I’m just trying to tell you that your parents may change their opinions and accept you for who you love”

                “I’m scared that if they come here that they’ll cut me off and I won’t be able to afford the house and give you the stuff you deserve. I’m afraid that they may not approve of who I’ve become”

                “Hey—hey,” I whisper softly, “you are the most amazing man that I ever met—well besides Mark Hoppus—I don’t know anyone who couldn’t approve of who you are. And if they cut you off I would still lov—like you the same. I’ve been living in my shitty apartment for 2 years now. If we lived in that apartment for the rest of our lives I would be happy because I have you there with me” Shit, I said that I loved him. He’s ignored it when it slipped out last tim—

                “I think that I love you too,” Brendon announces softly, “is that weird?”

                “Love is weird—no”

                “So, you love me too?” I swear I can feel him smiling.

                “More than lying in this bed with you right now”

                “I still can’t get you a fancy present can I?”

                I shake my head, “No way”

                “I’m glad that I came into Smoothie Hut that day at that time”

                “I’m glad that I got to work that day” I close my eyes and feel myself start to drift into sleep.

                “Hey Ryan?” Brendon’s voice quickly jolts me awake.

                “Mhmm?”

                “Can we get a puppy and name him Rex?”

                “Sure”

                “I love you Ryan”

                “I love you too, Brendon” With that Brendon is suddenly snoring. Maybe sleeping with him wasn’t such a bad idea after-all.


	2. Voices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was not a good idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late upload. I'm sick and I feel like shit.

 

**Chapter 2: Voices**

* * *

                It was _not_ a good idea judging by the voices that I hear as soon as I wake up.

                “What should we do? Wake them up?”

                “But they look so peaceful”

                “This is against protocol, Sierra. He could have pulled his stitches out or his IVs during the night”

                “Lighten up, Blake. Don’t you have a romantic bone in your body? Or did you stick a rectal thermometer so far up your ass that you can’t pull it out?”

                “That is not the correct behavior to be displaying while in the hospital! We are supposed to treat our patients with the upmost care an—“

                “Oh can it Harnage—just let them sleep. They probably had a terrifying night”

                “From what I overheard from the police they don’t know who shot him. And it wasn’t just a random shooting—high powered rifles were used. Surgeons said that it almost nicked his artery”

                “Kay and Gaskarth we shouldn’t be discussin—“

                “Yes we know—HYPA rules and all that but that doesn’t mean we can’t take guesses on what really happened and whether or not we turn our cheeks at this”

                “Just let them sleep. We already changed his fluids out and he seems to be steady. We’ll check out his stitches later—I hear that there’s cake in the longue for Rian’s birthday”

                “I don’t think I’ve eaten in,” the voice pauses, “12 hours”

                “Don’t you want some cake Blakey?”

                “I—Fine but as soon as I’m done eating I’m coming back here and—“ The voices suddenly disappear and I remove my arms away from Brendon, sitting straight up in bed.

                “Fuck—fuck—fuck,” I mumble under my breath.

                “Mhmm? Was the matter?” Brendon grumbles just waking up.

                “Nothing, Bren. Just go back to sleep”

                “Moved your arms—move them back”

                “Can’t—hungry” I gnaw at my lip. It wasn’t completely untrue.

                “What time is it?” I look up at the clock—9am.

                “It’s 9 in the morning”

                “Nah it’s 9 in the afternoon” I roll my eyes.

                “I think the morphine is getting to you” I gently swing my legs out onto the floor and land on the hospital floor gracefully.

                “Can you get me something to eat? Starving”

                “You might have missed your food but I’ll go ask a nurse” I grab my phone from the table and attempt to turn it on but the red blinking light alerts me that it’s dead. God damn it.

                “I could go for some fast food breakfast—something awful and fatty” He rolls over to face me wincing as he does. “Would you mind getting someone to check my stiches too? I either pulled out my stiches or I might need some more morphine”

                “Sure Brenny.” I lean over the bed and kiss his forehead.

                “Love you Ryan”

                “I love you too Brendon” I slip my cell phone and his into my back pockets and walk out of the room leaving the door as I walk towards the nurse station. I should really call William to let him know that everything is okay but knowing him he’s probably at home with Gabe or has already asked around.

                “Sir? How may I help you?” a voice suddenly asks me. I quickly look up from the ground now realizing that I’m in front of the nurse’s station.

                “Oh—sorry,” I pause to read her name tag—Chantal Claret, “my boyfriend in room 103 wanted to know if he missed breakfast and if you could check his stitches” A huge smile spreads across her face offsetting her dark reddish hair.

                “We don’t get a lot of people brave enough to sleep next to a victim of a gunshot wound,” she comments as she gets up from her chair and grabs a file.

                “Yeah—sorr—“

                “Oh sweetie it’s fine,” she waves her hand about in the air, “all of the nurses know by now. Word travels fast in this hospital just like it did when you were drugged with Amorephine”

                “I—“

                “Honey, you left two days ago. We don’t forget that easily” She emerges from behind the counter her bright neon pink scrubs clashing with her dark reddish hair and her purple sneakers. “It also helped that we found you lying next to your boyfriend this morning”

                “I’m sorry—I didn’t mean t—“

                “It’s once again fine. Just try not to let it happen again. Hospital beds aren’t meant for two people” She places the manila file on the counter and then flips through it. “He should be getting out so—“ She suddenly stops in her sentence that smile no longer on her face.

                “Is he okay? Did his blood work come back okay?” She gnaws at her lip closing the file as she does.

                “Let’s go check on his stitches—I need to get more blood from him too,” she starts walking ahead of me her sneakers squeaking against the hospital floor. My stomach suddenly growls as I’m walking with her.

                “Is it okay if I—“

                “I’ll tell him that you went to get something to eat—cafeteria’s on the second floor”

                “Thank you Claret”

                She rolls her eyes and stops in front of room 100, leaning up against the doorway, “Call me Chantal—Claret sounds too much like Silence Of The Lambs if you ask me. I’m not a cannibal”

                “Thanks Chantal—just tell him that I’ll be back in ten minutes or so”

                “Of course. Checking up on him won’t take long” She gives me a half smile and walks down the hall towards Brendon’s room. I should be going with her and holding his hand and making sure that he’s okay. But I’m hungry and I need to talk to William and—Brendon made me a deal with calling his parents. I know that as soon as I mention it he’s going to come up with an excuse or make me wait until he’s out of the hospital. And then when he’s out of the hospital he’ll tell me after my party—it’ll be the never ending circle of not telling his parents or Zack.

                Shit. Zack was supposed to be protecting Brendon today. And when he sees what the house looks it won’t be pr—

                “Sir! I can assure you that we have own security and cameras! We do not allow guns inside of the hospital!” Shit. I waited too long.

 


	3. Deserving

 

**Chapter 3: Deserving**

* * *

                I quickly run towards Brendon’s room only to be stopped by Spencer who is standing outside of his hospital room with a brown paper bag.

                “I wouldn’t go in there if I were you—crazy person with a gun is inside and they’re trying to sedate him,” he says casually and flicks an invisible cigarette onto the ground. Something is _off_ with him. A large thud from the inside of the room quickly distracts me.

                “Yeah—I know him—my father hired him” I hear Brendon sigh from the inside of the room. I should be with him right now but Zack scares the shit out of me.

                “He’s going to be taken into custody when he wakes up,” the nurse from earlier mentions. Okay, Zack is no longer conscious. I can go inside.

                “Pete fired me if you’re interested—said that I wasn’t worth the trouble,” Spencer quickly interrupts my thoughts.

                “Bullshit. You’re totally worth the trouble”

                Spencer shrugs, “Not in his eyes I’m not—you should probably head inside now. Nurse said that he needs another round of blood work”

                “How long have you been here for?” Avoiding questions is my specialty.

                “Long enough. Gabe packed you a lunch” He tosses me the brown paper bag and I roll my eyes.

                “Gabe’s an asshole who doesn’t deserve even an inch of William’s time”

                He chuckles and looks down at the hospital floor, “He made out with you too I take it?”

                “He kissed you too?! It’s one thing to kiss a gay dude but to kiss a straig—“

                “What gave you the idea that I’m completely straight?” He glances over at me and smirks then looks back down at the ground. “You should head inside. Brendon seemed freaked out when the nurse told him that he has to get his blood drawn again”

                “Don’t they want to take the guy out of Brendon’s room first?”

                “Hospital seems really understaffed and backwards—who doesn’t have a metal detector in hospital and doesn’t bring any security guards to a security risk?”

                I shrug my shoulders as Zack is wheeled out on a gurney. I like him a lot more when he’s not speaking or scaring the piss out of me.

                “Tell Brendon said that I said hi and that William said that he’ll be around later”

                “Did Pete mention anything about me coming back to work?”

                Spencer pauses and sighs, “I think that he might be closing up Smoothie Hut soon. When I was taking inventory I stumbled upon some bills—bank said that they have thirty days to pay three months of rent for the space or they’re seizing the property”

                “They—They can’t do that,” my voice stumbling over my words. Smoothie Hut—as shitty as it is—is like my home if I think about it. Jon wanted to work there after we got out of college. It was our dream and when our dream faded I found Brendon there. They can’t just take it away. It’s not fair. Spencer shrugs again.

                “If you know anyone who might be hiring let me know” He goes to turn to walk away but then stops. “You are right about Gabe—he doesn’t deserve William at all” He smirks and then walks away without a word. Yeah, something is completely off with Spencer.


	4. Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So Spencer isn’t completely straight?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to give you guys a lot to read so if I can't update Friday you'll have extra stuff to read.

 

 

** Chapter 4: Breakfast**

* * *

                "So Spencer isn't completely straight?"

                “Nope” I pull the peanut butter and jelly sandwich out of the brown paper bag and stare at it. I forgot about asking for Brendon’s breakfast in the confusion of everything. Shit.

                “Are you going to eat your sandwich just by staring at it?”

                “Do you want half? I forgot to ask about your breakfast—“

                “Eat your food Ryan. You need to eat”

                “It’s fine—I can’t eat in the hospital most of the time. Smells like death” I break off half of my sandwich and hand it to Brendon. “Not a huge fan of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches either. Reminds me too much of my parents”

                “If you don’t eat both halves of your sandwich I will hire a band to play at your birthday party and I know that you don’t want that” I grumble and take the other half from Brendon’s outstretched palm quickly munching down on it. “You know I always thought that Spencer had a crush on you” I choke on my sandwich and then swallow it with the help of a bottle of water that Gabe packed me. I still don’t trust that guy but at least he wants to make sure that I don’t pass out or choke.

                “Trust me—Spencer does not like me in _that_ way” Until recently he had hated me because of what happened with Jon. Liking me was the furthest thing from his mind.

                “He threw me up against the wall when he first found out that you were in a coma. He thought that I had convinced you take Amorephine to get over Jon and fall in love with me” I really need to stop eating or else I will choke to death in a hospital.

                “I think him and Jon had _something_ during those two years—probably didn’t think it was right for me to use drugs to get over him. If he had liked me he wouldn’t have slapped me awake and yelled at me”

                “He might get off on slapping people. Everyone has their kinks,” he shrugs.

                “Who ordered the pancakes and toast?!” a sudden voice booms from the doorway. I quickly turn my head to see William standing in the doorway with Gabe right behind him a Burger King bag in his left hand.

                “Did you bribe the nurses with your charm and good looks, Bilvy?” Brendon asks dryly wincing as he sits up in bed. “We can only have food that the hospital makes—insurance and all that”

                “Haven’t you heard the phrase what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?” Gabe’s voice suddenly interrupts. His and William’s footsteps get closer and they’re soon enough sitting on top of each other on the paisley print chair on the other side of Brendon.

                “We’re not technically in Las Vegas but i—“

                “It still counts as Vegas,” Gabe quickly snaps his Spanish accent almost completely gone. He’s not really fucking Spanish. That liar who somehow has really amazing lips. Not as amazing as Brendon’s but still—damn. I stare down at my sandwich and take another bite.

William throws the white Burger King bag onto Brendon’s lap to which he smiles.

                “Seriously though,” Brendon opens the bag the aroma of fast food flooding the room, “how did you sneak this past everyone?”

                “These lips are sealed,” William says with a giggle. “Everyone is a little gay in Las Vegas that is all I am saying” If I hear about him blowing some guy off in a supply closet I will kill him.

                “That reminds me!” Brendon quickly exclaims.

               Don’t ask about Spencer. Don’t ask about Spencer.

                “Did you know that Spencer isn’t totally straight?” Brendon quickly shovels a piece of a pancake into his mouth and smiles at me. He totally knows what he’s doing and it makes my blood boil. Spencer might not have wanted to be ousted yet. You don’t do that without asking their permission. It’s one thing to tell your partner and trust them to keep a secret but it’s something completely different to tell other people.

                “Really? My gaydar is completely wr—“

                “Going to take a walk,” I quickly get up from my chair the wood scraping the ground as my sandwich falls to the ground.

                “You didn’t eat Rya—“

                “Not hungry,” I grumble as my feet carry me out of the room and into the hallway. Everyone in that room knows what it’s like to be judged for who they love and yet they’re judging Spencer? Fucking hypocrites. Especially Brendon. You would know that he would know better but I guess not. Maybe the gunshot didn’t just mess up his stomach but also his brain. There’s a sudden buzzing in my back pocket. What the hel—I still have his phone. His parents. I was supposed to call them and let them know what’s going on. Zack probably told them about the house and the gunshots. They’re probably worried. My parents wouldn’t be worried. But his are. I grab his phone out of my pocket—Mother is displayed on the phone’s screen in big bold letters. I was right.

                I shouldn’t answer. It’s going against Brendon’s wishes but he did promise me that he would call them. What’s the difference if I talk to them myself? The phone stops buzzing as I exit the building into the hot Nevada heat. I can call them back. My mother was always the most reasonable person to talk to anyways. My thumb hovers over the redial button my hand shaking as I do so. I need to do this. My thumb quickly presses down on the redial button—there’s no going back now. I put the phone up to my ear and it gets picked up on the first ring.

                “Brendon! Are you alright?! Me and your father were so worried! Zack called and said that the windows in your house were shot out! He was on the way to the hospital to check on you! We can be on the jet in a matter of hours if you need us to take care of you!” a rich but panicked voice comes through the phone. Middle rich my ass—you have a fucking jet. Shit—I should probably talk now. I hadn’t thought about that. What do I actually say that won’t offend them? Hello Mr. and Mrs. Boyd Urie. Your son has given me the best orgasm of my life and currently he’s lying in a hospital bed with a gunshot wound? But don’t worry though! Because the bodyguard you hired is currently unconsciousness! I wet my lips and breathe in then out. I need to come up with something.

                “Hello Mrs. Urie. I’m Brendon’s” What would offend them the less? Friend? _Band member._ “Guitarist from his band and I just wanted to let you know that he’s okay. We were practicing” Oh come Ryan you were about to give him a handjob. That’s certainly not practicing. “And someone shot Brendon. The police are investiga—“

                “Oh my gosh! We’ll be there soon! Tell Brendon that we love him and that we’ll see him soon!”

                “It’s fine—I mean—he’s fin—“ The phone line goes dead. Shit. Brendon is going to kill me.


	5. Cheat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Just calm down—things are going to be alright. Can you tell him that it was by accident and that you used his phone to call William and—“

 

**Chapter 5: Cheat**

* * *

                “Just calm down—things are going to be alright. Can you tell him that it was by accident and that you used his phone to call William and—“

                “William is in the hospital room right now! I wouldn’t need to talk to him!” I scream into Brendon’s phone as I pace around outside of the hospital’s entrance.

                “Tell him that you meant to call me and that you pressed the wrong button,” Spencer gently suggests on the phone. I ended up calling Spencer to help calm me down and come up with a solution to what just happened. William’s still in the hospital room with Brendon so I couldn’t ask his advice.

                “We have the same phone except for the color”

                “You were about to call me when his parents called and pressed the wrong button? It’s happened with me tons of times and I’ve accidently answered phone calls when I didn’t mean to. Especially telemarketers’”

                “But I could have hung up!”

                “It would have just made them come anyways. Ryan, it’s going to be alright. You introduced yourself as being his guitarist, right?”

                I breathe in and then out, “Yeah”

                “Then act like a guitarist when they’re here. Ask them if they would like to hear you play”

                “I wish that they would just accept him as being gay,” I whine into the phone. Spencer sighs.

                “They already have. They just choose to ignore it. They’re in the middle of the spectrum,” I swear I can hear him getting lighter as he takes another hit from a joint.

                “What spectrum are you talking about?”

                “The spectrum of parents’ acceptance. You’ve got your parents—dude do you still get high?” He breathes into the phone. I don’t know how it’s possible but I think that I can smell the weed from here.

                “I don’t want to touch drugs after what happened with Amorephine”

                “It’s just weed. It’s not like cocaine and heroin”

                I roll my eyes, “Thanks for the advice, Spencer” I hang up the phone and slip it back to my pocket where my own phone is. How the hell am I going to tell Brendon that his parents are going to be here in a matter of hours? Casually mention it in a conversation about how much people suck? Mention that no matter how much he thinks that his life is like a Disney movie it’s really not and some villains really do deserve unhappy endings?

                I look down at my red converses trying to will my feet to move but they don’t move. They seem to be stuck to the ground worse than gum in girls’ hair. Maybe I can just walk back to my apartment and avoid my landlord. I can forget that Brendon ever exists and just back to my normal everyday zombie like life. I can live without his lips and his eyes and when he’s excited his face just lights up. I can ignore his laugh and his smile and everything about him. I can forget about his hyperactive personality and how he wants a puppy and gets so excited about Disney movies. Oh fuck it. I can’t forget about Brendon Urie no matter how much I want to. He’s the best thing in my life.

                I look back down at my feet and this time they listen to my brain as I walk towards Brendon’s room. I might have ruined the first relationship I’ve ever had since Jon but I can’t just forget about Brendon. If things go wrong William can help me move everything out of his house. I can move on after this if he doesn’t want me anymore for bringing his drug lord parents to Las Vegas to uproot his new life. My feet suddenly stop in front of Brendon’s shut door. I can do this. If I could tell him about Jon I can tell him anything. I press my ear up against the door to make that Gabe and William have left and there’s—

                “Shhh—William could be right outside of the door,” Gabe giggles. Gabe’s giggling? I didn’t know that he could do anything but sneer and make out with everyone on sight? “You’re so loud. I don’t really want him to know what’s going” Seriously Gabe? You’re making out with someone in Brendon’s room? I roll my eyes and push the door open quietly an—

                Brendon’s swollen lips are on top of Gabe’s and I might vomit or pass out. His hair is being grabbed by Gabe’s hands. Brendon’s hospital gown is off and the heat monitor is beeping like it might break at any second. His stitches are shown proudly as Gabe runs his nails down Brendon’s neck. This—this can’t be happening. I’m still in a coma back at the hospital when William drugged me. I must have overdosed with Jon and it’s still 2011. I haven’t been kicked out yet. Jon is still alive. I’m still happy. My world is not falling apart and the boy I thought I loved is not cheating on me. Their joined moans grow animalistic and—I can’t watch anymore. I’m torturing myself too much. I let the door swing shut loudly before me. There’s a loud thud that everyone including the nurses should have heard but it seems like no one gives a shit in this hospital. As long as you don’t die they don’t care if you have a party.

                Gabe comes running out of the room and runs into me. This is real. This is happening.

                “Do you know if William came by here?” he sounds frantic and his hair is sticking up on end. He doesn’t realize that I saw them. He thought that someone else must have saw them. I shake my head and push past him into the room finding Brendon sitting up in bed his hair sticking up just like Gabe’s. Those swollen lips I thought were mine are sipping on a straw. I close the door behind me.

                “Hey! Have you seen William? Me and him were supposed to talk about your birthday party” He smiles and I still can’t help but get those butterfly feelings. He—He doesn’t know either. I shake my head no and look down at my hands as I’m falling into one of the chairs. “Hey—are you crying?” Am I? I didn’t realize.

                “I—I called your parents to let them know that you’re okay,” my voice stutters through a lump in my throat. Mind as well get everything out before you tell him that you caught him cheating. He deserves the surprise. But I know what it’s like to have family who hates you for who you love. Or _loved_.

                “I thought that we were going to call together!”

                “I thought that we agreed not to cheat on each other,” I snap at him and his face falls. He knows now and I want to take it back. I want to ignore it and just be happy and pretend it never happened. If I walked on Gabe and Brendon that would be fine. At least he would be with me sometimes.

                “I—I don’t know what came over me. He was just on top of me—me and it just happen—happened,” he sniffles through his tears. It looks like he might burst into a sob and I just want to hold him and tell him that I forgive him and everything is going to be okay. But I can’t when I all I can think about is how Gabe’s mouth was on his.

                “Things like that just don’t happen, Brendon. You push him away or say no. You don’t just kiss back and moan and enjoy it. I was there for the entire time and you sure as hell looked like you enjoyed it. And really? In a hospital? You would think that if you were going to wait to cheat on me you would do it when you can actually have sex with Gabe! Not a lot of room in a hospital bed!”

                “I only want to have sex with you though”

                “Well your dick and your mouth obliviously aren’t matching up. You cheated with Gabe on William! You know the guy who is my best friend! He was happy with Gabe! I—I was happy”

                “I’m sorry! It just happened! What more do you want me to say?! He kissed you too! And you didn’t push him away or say no! You just sat there!”

                “I didn’t kiss him back or take my clothes off like you have!” I glance down at his blue hospital gown which is on the ground and sneer.

                “Oh come on! You might have not kissed back but you sure as hell enjoyed it!”

                “I didn’t enjoy it as much as when you kiss me, you asshole!” I clench my fists tightly but then quickly unclench. “You—do you not want me anymore? If you didn’t you should have just broken up with me, Brendon. It would have saved William from a world of hurt. I could handle a break up” No you couldn’t Ryan. It would have destroyed you. “But William couldn’t handle Gabe cheating on him”

                “But—but I don’t want to break up with you. I get these stupid butterflies in my stomach whenever I see you and you make me smile whenever I’m around you. I’m not scared when you’re around me. When we go back to the house I’m not scared that I might get shot again—I’m going to have to get someone to fix the windows—because you’re with me. Just—it was like I needed Gabe right then and there. It was like—I’m going to fucking kill him!”

                “Um—should I come to withdraw your blood later?” a small voice asks from the now open door. I quickly turn around in my seat to see the white haired guy from earlier.

                “Sorry—I just was leaving,” I get from my chair only to have Brendon grab my arm.

                “Please stay—I’ll explain everything in a minute. I know what’s going on”

                I shake my head and pull my arm away from him, “I’ll have my stuff out in a few days. Your parents should be here in a few hours. At least I won’t be here to make things awkward” Brendon looks up at me his eyes pleading. He still looks like the boy that I fell in love with but so much more broken. I should forgive him—I had technically cheated on him—but William got hurt too. “I’ll tell William what happened—I’ll have Spencer pick up my stuff and bring it back to my apartment. I hope that you and Gabe are very happy together” I leave his room feeling completely chilled to the bone even in the Nevada heat.


	6. Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He cheated on you? What the fucking hell?” Spencer shouts after he’s picked me up from the hospital. I had forgotten that I still had Brendon’s phone in my pocket when I left his room. And I didn’t feel like storming back into his hospital room just to give it back. So I used his phone to call Spencer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These next few chapters are going to be really really short but there's a reason for it that you'll find out soon enough.

 

**Chapter 6: Rain**

* * *

                “He cheated on you? What the fucking hell?” Spencer shouts after he’s picked me up from the hospital. I had forgotten that I still had Brendon’s phone in my pocket when I left his room. And I didn’t feel like storming back into his hospital room just to give it back. So I used his phone to call Spencer.

                “Gabe and him were making out in his hospital bed,” I press my head up against the window and watch the landmarks as they whizz by. The sky looks like it’s going to open up and pour down rain. Jon got his weather today.

                “And no nurse, doctor, or anyone stopped by to check on them? A crazy guy with a gun is one thing but a patient whose heart monitor is freaking out is another thing. For all they know Brendon could have been dying,” he pulls into a Dairy Queen parking lot with a smile.

                “Thought that you were just going to drop me off at my apartment?” I lift my head up from the window and sigh. I really just want to take a shower and sleep for the rest of my life. I haven’t told William about Gabe yet. I had tried calling him on Brendon’s phone but he didn’t answer. For all I know he could have killed him and Brendon by now.

                “I may not know the most about relationships but I know that eating shit tons of ice cream normally helps any kind of breakup” He shrugs and then pulls into a front row parking spot. “So do rebounds but I have a feeling that Ryan Ross is not like that”

                “Yeah—it took me 2 years to get over Jon’s death. Me and rebounds don’t mix,” I chuckle and glance over at Spencer who is sitting in his seat looking down at the floor. “Sorry. I know that Jon is a sore subject for both of us. I shouldn’t have mentioned him”

                “Did Brendon tell you why he cheated on you? Like I kn—have heard what it’s like to be cheated on and the bullshit reasons they tell you and I wanted to see if he was like all of the rest”

                “He told me that he still loves me and that he just needed to have sex with him right there. He said that he doesn’t want to break up—and never wanted to—and then cursed Gabe out and told me that he would explain after the nurse drew his blood,” I sigh and then look back out the window staring at the dingy Dairy Queen sign.

                “Did you let him explain? I mean—you two were really happy and he migh—“

                “You don’t know what it’s like to be cheated on Spencer. I wouldn’t expect you to understand,” I hiss at him my voice full of razorblades.

                “Jon cheated on us—with both of us—when he was with you at the hotel room about to have sex with you he was texting me about how much he missed me and didn’t want to be there. When you took that trip to California? Where do you think you got that much pot? We shared him—and God damn it if you let fucking Gabriel Saporta mess up you and Brendon. I haven’t seen you this happy since you and Jon went to that stupid ass formal and pretended that you were going as stag. You like light up whenever you even mention Brendon’s name. You’re going back to the hospital and you’re listening to what he says or I will tie you to this roof and blast Barbie Girl as we drive back to see Brendon”

                “Jon cheated on me?” I deadpan and stare at Spencer. He stares back at me incredulously.

                “Is that really all you got out of my big speech? Jon was an asshole—a loveable asshole—but an asshole. He couldn’t choose between two guys and hurt us both in the end. But we have both moved on from Jon Walker and his cocky and addictive personality. Dude, he even died being addicted”

                “I had always thought that he overdosed because of me and his parents because they couldn’t accept him. And that I hadn’t pushed him out of the closet he wouldn’t have overdosed”

                “You might have not noticed—you’re very oblivious about everything—but he was still using back when he was with you. I did sell him the Eurie—the dig at the funeral was very kind of you by the way—but only after he promised to stop. Few hours later I got the news and I heard that he overdosed. I blame myself for giving it to him and not calling you to tell him where he was,” Spencer sighs and turns the car back on the engine roaring to life then looks back at me. “To be honest. I don’t think anyone really knew Jon. You knew him when he was off. I knew him while he was on. I don’t think even Jon knew who he was after his Dad passed away”

                “When did you and Jon break up?” I can actually see Jon dating Spencer behind my back somehow. We had different classes and completely different schedules. It could have happened.

                “We broke up before you two went off to college. I felt horrible after he broke up with me. He had told me that he hadn’t told you that me and him were together. I had always assumed that you were okay with it. You have no idea how much I wanted to let you know that he was cheating on you even though you had no idea who I was. But he said that you were really happy and that it would be cruel to tell you. It was like emotional blackmail”

                “He was an asshole wasn’t he?” Spencer chuckles and nods his head. “Have you met anyone since Jon? When you told me that you weren’t completely straight I was really surprised. So—like—do you like girls and boys? Boys? Sometimes both? Or none at all?”

                “So many questions—I like who I like. I don’t want to put a label on it. I hate labels. And I’ve met a few people. They never lasted. Me and relationships never really work,” he says with a shrug and then pulls out of the parking lot.

                “What about Dairy Queen?”

                “You don’t need ice cream—you need Brendon”

                “He’s going to hate me for not letting him explain” I cross my arms across my chest and pout.

                “Brendon is probably hating himself more than anything right now. And you did say that his parents are coming to visit him so he’s probably freaking o—“

                I quickly interrupt him, “Do you mind if we stop somewhere before we head back to the hospital? I know the perfect thing to say that I’m sorry and that will calm Brendon down”

                “I’m not going to a sex shop, Ryan”

                “Oh yeah—totally—I’m going to dress up as a male stripper and have sex with him while his parents are in the room” I roll my eyes.

                “Then sure—we can make a stop”

                “Thanks Spencer—Brendon is going to love it” I stare out the window with a smile, the sky suddenly looking so much brighter. Maybe Jon isn’t going to get his weather after all.


	7. Petco

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We are not getting Brendon a puppy while he’s in the hospital,” Spencer states as we stand inside of a Petco near the adoption center.

**Chapter 7: Petco**

* * *

                “We are not getting Brendon a puppy while he’s in the hospital,” Spencer states as we stand inside of a Petco near the adoption center.

                “And that’s why I told you that I would take care of the puppy while I’m not with Brendon at the hospital. And then William or you would take care of Rex when—“

                “You already named the dog?” He rolls his eyes and then smirks.

                “It’s what Brendon would name his dog if he had one—which he should have because his parents didn’t let him have one because they’re allergic”

                “You seem to be forgetting that his parents are probably here already and are allergic—you should be at the hospital making sure that he’s okay, not adopting a do—“

                “Look at how cute this one is! Her ears are sticking straight up and she’s trying to get out,” I squeal as I stare at a black and white Boston terrier who is pawing at the window. “She’s adorable! How could you deny that face, Spencer?” I grab his arm and shove him in front of the window as I step back to stare at the dog food and the assortment of toys.

                “She is pretty cute…,” he trails off as he runs his finger down the glass. “How are you going to take her into the hospital? Last time I checked I don’t think Nevada hospitals allow you to bring pets into hospitals due to allergic reactions, the dog could pee on the ground or the dog could bite someone”

                “If Gabe,” I flinch involuntary, “can sneak in fast food sneaking in a dog should be no problem”

                “Fast food can’t make any noise. A puppy is a living breathing thing that can make a whole lot of noi—Penny is a very odd name for a dog isn’t it?”

                I shrug my shoulders, “It’s better than Rex at least. It doesn’t suit a female dog. And if I can’t sneak a dog in I’ll sneak Brendon out. He only has a gunshot wound and it should be healing up soon” Spencer turns around to face me and folds his arms.

                “He got shot yesterday, Ryan. Do you honestly expect him to be out and ready to leave today?”

                “He was able to make out and basically dry hump Gabe why shouldn’t he be able to leave soon?” I pick up a collar with music notes on it. “Do you think this would look good on her?”

                “Stop changing the subject, Ryan. I know it hurts—trust me, I do—but Brendon said that there’s a reason for what happened, right? You deserve it to your happiness to at least hear what it is. So get your head out of your ass and accept it. Jon messed up for years with both of us and yet you still loved him. You seem to already have forgiven Jon and he didn’t even give you a reason expect for being a total jackass. No one is perfect like you hope they are”

                “Brendon’s parents are the reason that Jon’s dead,” I quickly blurt out. “They created Eurie and Amorephine and tons of other drugs too. Jon wouldn’t be dead if it were for his parents”

                Spencer sighs, “I knew that something was up when that crazy bald dude stormed into Brendon’s room with a gun. Jon would have found something else to overdose on or he would have called another dealer…,” he trails off.

                “Maybe I should wait to adopt a do—“

                “No. We’ll find out some way to sneak her in. Let’s go pick out some collars,” he gives me a half smile and pulls me off to another aisle.


	8. Wencer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I can’t believe that they wouldn’t let us take her home today,” I pout as I pull my seatbelt over me and turn the AC on. My eyes glance over at the time—noon. Brendon’s parents are probably here by now. Fuck.

**Chapter 8: Wencer**

* * *

                “I can’t believe that they wouldn’t let us take her home today,” I pout as I pull my seatbelt over me and turn the AC on. My eyes glance over at the time—noon. Brendon’s parents are probably here by now. Fuck.

                “It could be a good thing. You and Brendon could back and pick her up together. Good bonding experience and all that shit—don’t play with the AC” He snips and then swats at my hands. “You’re going to break it”

                “But I’m hot,” I whine. “And I wanted to surprise Brendon and cheer him up. His parents are probably already at the hospital as we speak”

                “What a better reason to not bring the do—“

                “Her name is Penny not the ‘dog’. And did you see how they treated her? She wanted to escape, Spencer. We should kidnap her”

                “Do you mean dognap?”

                “Same difference,” I fold my arms across my chest. “They still should have let us take her”

                “Are you sure you’re not a woman? You’re acting like a mother who doesn’t want to let her child go,” Spencer grins and then pulls out of the parking lot.

                “I have a penis—I’m not a woman”

                “You poor naïve boy—Transgenders do exist. And they are people too. Don’t be mean and cruel. You should be the most accepting person in the world”

                “I didn’t mean it in that way and you know it,” I sigh and stare out of the window. “I just wanted to cheer Brendon up. I was a dick back in the hospital. I know that Gabe probably did something and I didn’t let him explain. It was shitty for me to do that after everything that happened”

                “Look,” he stops at a red light and looks over at me, “you’re known Brendon for what—2 weeks and a few days? You jumped right into this relationship quicker than Metro Station’s career. You’re going to have a few bumps along the way. You saw him cheating on you—you have a right to be angry. But you also owe him to stay there and listen to what happened. Look at those stupid shitty Valentine Day movies. There’s a climax where someone either looks like they’re cheating or they do for whatever reasons. Don’t have your life end up like one of those shitty movies”

                “A climax hints to the end of the story,” I say as the light turns green and Spencer presses on the gas. “I don’t want this story to end anytime soon”

                “From what you’ve told me about Brendon and his parents this story is far from over. And don’t forget that William has probably killed Gabe right now and we’ll end up finding his body soon”

                “Or maybe just his penis on the side of William’s apartment”

                “Would we be able to see it?” Spencer says with a chuckle.

                “Might need a microscope”

                “But sometimes it’s not how big the penis but how you use,” he grins and I roll my eyes. “Speaking of—how’s sex with Brendon? How amazing as I think it might be?” I groan.

                “Some things are meant to be kept between two people in the bedroom”

                “Oh come on! You can’t leave me imagining!” He elbows me and then puts his hand back on the wheel pulling into the hospital’s parking lot.

                I smirk, and then bite my lip, “All I can say is that he’s very giving and his lips are a gift from god”

                “No fucking way! Dude—you scored the jackpot with Brendon. Even with his crazy drug lord parents who could have you killed whenever they want to”

                I grimace and shudder, “Thanks for reminding me that I could be dead at any second, Spence”

                “No problem! So—like—do you know anyone who is single and might be good for me?” he asks shyly as he pulls into a parking spot. Is it possible that he hasn’t moved on from Jon during those two years? He said that he’s been on a few dates but nothing panned out.

                “There’s Keltie—if you’re into girls right now. Um—a lot of my friends don’t like to really be held down” Yeah. The only friends you have besides William—and now Spencer—were the people you partied with every night.

                “I might just have to sign up for online dating or some shit like that,” he shrugs his shoulders, “an unemployed 22 year old doesn’t seem to peak a lot of interest”

                “You’re an attractive guy.” Spencer is. But in the more of adorable just want to cuddle with type. He’s not the ‘I want to tear your clothes apart’ like Brendon is. “You’ll find someone soon. Before I met Brendon I was a walking zombie. Every night after Smoothie Hut I would get so drunk that I would piss my pants and wake up alone at another party. Then I would get up and hopefully make it back to my shitty apartment so that I could change my pants and—“

                Spencer is kissing me and I don’t know how to tell him to stop and that I’m not enjoying it. I understand that he’s going through a lot with Jon and seeing me with Brendon and how happy I am. He probably doesn’t think it’s fair that I got Jon and Brendon. I really need to find someone for him unless he actually does like me like William and Brendon were talking about. He quickly pulls away from me and wipes his mouth off with the back of his hand.

                “S—sorry,” he stutters out and turns the car off pulling the seat off of him in a rush.

                “It’s alright” I unbuckle my seatbelt and look over at him. “Do you like me or…” I trail off.

                “It’s not that—maybe it is—I don’t know. We should get inside and see Bren—“

                “Tell me what’s going on. If Brendon can handle being shot he can handle his parents for a few minutes. You’re my friend so I want to know what’s going on”

                “After Jon died we didn’t exactly stop speaking. You may have thought we did but we didn’t. About a year ago we ended up running into each other at a party. I don’t think I’ve seen someone more wasted in my life. You kinda just fell on me—I ended up taking you back to my place to sober you up. The party we picked wasn’t exactly the best scene. When I took you back to my place you seemed to think that it was an invitation to try and have sex with me. Jon would have killed me if I would have just let you do it. He _really_ loved you..,” he trails off with a sigh.

                “You wanted to make sure that it was only because I was drunk and not because I had any type of feelings for you,” I say carefully. I get horny when I’m high and drunk. I’m never drinking again now.

                “I had to make sure tha—“

                “You don’t need to explain yourself, Spencer. I’m sorry that I can’t control my dick while I’m drunk or high,” I chuckle. “Thanks for taking care of me and still taking care of me now. Jon loved you too even though he had a shit way of showing it. You’re going to find someone who is better than Jon”

                “But who could love me? I’m out of my mind. I’m still caught up in Jon even after all of these years. He’s probably the reason why my past dates have never worked out”

                “Listen,” I turn around in my chair and fold my legs underneath me to face him, “Don’t let what Jon did and his memories mess up your future. He was your past and this is your future. It sucks that he’s gone because of the choices _he_ made but you deserve it to yourself to find someone else. Someone who treats you with the respect and the love that you deserve to have”

                He nods softly and pushes his door open, “I didn’t feel anything when I kissed you so don’t be scared that I’ll just make out with you like I heard Gabe did”

                “I didn’t feel anything either. It was like when William kissed m—“

                “William kissed you?! When was this?” He pulls the door shut again and stares at me anxiously.

                I shrug my shoulders, “He got drunk—we wanted to try—nothing happened” Spencer continues staring at me expecting the rest of the story. He looks like he’s getting off at the thought of me and Willi—he likes William. Holy shit. It explains why he never comes to work because he knows that he’s going to be there. And why he got so upset that Gabe cheated on me and William and why he said that he deserves better. He picked William up from jail too. I should have seen it sooner. Spencer Smith likes William Beckett. Wencer. Holy shit.

                “Are you going to continue with the story?” He taps his fingers against the wheel.

                “Are you going to tell William that you like him?” I instantly blurt out with a small smirk.

                “What? What are you talking about? I don’t like William. Why would I like him?” He sounds frazzled and his leg has started to shake. Oh he totally likes him.

                “So you wouldn’t mind if I told him how much you wanted to know about us making ou—“

                “Don’t tell him. I’m not his type. He wants guys like Gabe,” he sighs.

                “William doesn’t really have a type. And Gabe is an asshole who has a fake Spanish accent. He wants guys who won’t cheat on him and be total dicks. You aren’t a dick, Spencer. If you won’t tell William I’ll tell him and he’ll show up on your doorstep and confront you”

                “I’m not even sure if I really like him. I don’t want to get into a relationship with him and then suddenly hurt him because of still liking Jon. I don’t want to hurt him”

                “I didn’t know if I was going to hurt Brendon when I told him about Jon. And he completely accepted it. He knew about Jon and how much I loved him. He didn’t care when I flipped out on him because he ruined my phone with all of my pictures of Jon on it. He knows that there was someone else before him and he’s okay with it. William will be okay with you and Jon. You need to tell him,” I pat Spencer’s shoulder and push the door open. He follows behind and opens his door and then closes it. “Just tell him in some big romantic way. William’s into that crap” I close my door to Spencer’s Prius carefully. My car used to be made up of mostly duct tape.

                “Maybe I’ll get him a puppy too,” he comments as he pulls out his cell phone and stares at his screen. “He’s still inside—Gabe left and William’s pissed. He’s already threatened him with a botched circumstance and a chainsaw. Wait—now he’s saying that he’s going to put a pound of meat in Gabe’s pants and unleash a pack of dogs on him”

                “Yeah…I don’t think getting a dog for him would be the right thing right now”

                “Do you think that he would even want to be ready to move on? I don’t want to be a rebound” He walks around to the other side of the car and then pockets his cell phone.

                “Just tell him how you feel and everything should be fine. William’s a total girl when it comes to that. Be prepared to be attacked with the sloppiest kiss you’ve ever had” Spencer’s face breaks out into a goofy grin.

                “I would be alright with that” He starts walking up towards the hospital and I follow pushing him playfully.

                “You are more of a girl than William is,” I kid. This could be really good for William and Spencer. William never cheats. And Spencer could never hurt him. He might have been a dealer but he can’t hurt a fly. Like William.

                “I’m not the one who wears eyeliner!” he teases. Yeah. This could totally work.


	9. Impress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How are you going to introduce yourself to Brendon’s parents?” Spencer asks me as we walk into the hospital, the automatic doors shutting behind us.

**Chapter 9: Impress**

* * *

 

                “How are you going to introduce yourself to Brendon’s parents?” Spencer asks me as we walk into the hospital, the automatic doors shutting behind us.

                “I think I’m more worried about how William is going to introduce himself and if he’s already pulling Brendon’s IV out and threw him out the window,” I say silently staring at the hospital floor as my feet carry me closer to is probably going to be the most awkward event of my life. There was that one time my father took it upon himself to teach me about sex. Of course he was drunk so that was fun. But that wasn’t as awkward as this is going to be.

                “William couldn’t hurt anyone. That’s part of the reason why I like him,” he whispers to himself. “It might be best if you didn’t mention that you and Brendon are together. At least until he’s out of the hospital”

                “It shouldn’t be like this—he shouldn’t have to hide himself in front of his parents. It’s not fair,” I mumble, my sneakers squeaking against the floor. I know that we’re getting close to his room and it’s terrifying me. Brendon could tell me that he hates me for leaving him and that he never wants to see me again. Or he could deny that were ever together because of his parents. He could do a million thin—

                “Ryan—we’re here. Should I wait outside or come with you?” I quickly glance up from the floor to Brendon’s room number which seemed to have magically appeared. My feet and mind never seem to catch up most of the time.

                “Maybe it would be best if you waited outside. Too many people may make the situation worse. Even if his parents aren’t here he might be mad that I ran off”

                “Yeah—I could talk to William,” he gives me a half smile. “Go impress some parents, Ross” He claps me on the shoulder and then walks off in the direction of a vending machine. I take a deep breath and push the door open. The smell of overpriced of perfume assaults my nose immediately. His parents are already here. Fuck.


	10. Nurse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh! You must be one of the nurses! Could you fetch some more water for my son? He seems to have run out—more morphine too—he’s in pain. I should really talk with your manager about your attire too. It’s hardly appropriate,” a shrill high pitched voice screams out over the sound of what sounds like a noise machine as soon as I enter the room. “I understand that you might be short-staffed but you should get started—he’s missed his lunch too”

 

 

 

**Chapter 10: Nurse**

* * *

                “Oh! You must be one of the nurses! Could you fetch some more water for my son? He seems to have run out—more morphine too—he’s in pain. I should really talk with your manager about your attire too. It’s hardly appropriate,” a shrill high pitched voice screams out over the sound of what sounds like a noise machine as soon as I enter the room. “I understand that you might be short-staffed but you should get started—he’s missed his lunch too”

                My eyes flicker from the ground up to a tall and skinny woman who looks like she walked straight out of a high fashion magazine. Her brown hair is stacked neatly on her head and her skin would make Hannibal Lector drool. He wouldn’t care about the fact that her entire outfit costs more than my entire rent does or that she thinks that I must be a nurse because there’s no way that I could be a possible suitor for her son. Well, if they would accept that he was gay.

                “Mom its fine—I’m fine,” Brendon manages to croak out his voice tired. My eyes immediately focus over on him. He gives me a half smile, his hair combed perfectly and looking like he might not have slept in weeks. His parents got to him and he’s already broken.

                “Honey—it’s hardly fine. This nurse is just standing here—with no name tag I mind you—and isn’t getting you the things that you request—“

                “He’s not a nurse—he’s my boyfriend,” Brendon blurts out suddenly. “And I love him. I know that you won’t ever accept that and if you cut me off, that’s _fine_. Nevada is a large state and I can find work somewhere. It might not be as glamorous as living in a house with a pool and a live in maid service but at least I’ll be with him” If I haven’t already fallen in love with him I think that I might have just now.

                His mother sighs—his father is missing for some reason—and pats his hand, “We were afraid of this when we let you go off to Nevada. That’s why your father and I brought someone along to help you. You knew him in college—ah—what his name—Brent”

                Brent is Brendon’s ex. He mentioned it back in the car on the way to Decedance and— _no_. That motherfucking asshole.

                “M-mom. D-don’t want to see B-B-B-Brent,” Brendon squeaks out, his body beginning to shake. “Tell him to go a-a-a-a-away”

                “He came all of the way from Califo—“

                “If you were his mother you would listen to him,” I snap at her finally having had enough. “You might not support who he loves—which is horrible by the way—but you should at least respect his wishes on who he wants to see. He’s 24—not 16. He can make his own decisions on who he wants to see. The only reason I even called you—you’re welcome by the way—was to let you know that your son wasn’t dead. You should thank me instead of ordering me around like I’m your fucking lapdog” She opens her pursed lips to talk but I don’t give her a chance, “Your entire outfit might cost more than my entire rent—really though? You look like you gave Elmo and blowjob with your bright red lipstick and that bag is so last season—but that doesn’t mean that you can treat me like I’m a second class citizen”

                “This is hardly appropriate. I’m his mother. You’re just—an experiment. He hasn’t grown out of it ye—“

                “Oh my god you pruny old woman,” I announce, my voice steady feeling like I could take on the world. “Get your head out of your dried up vagina. My parents don’t care about me anymore. They kicked me out because they couldn’t deal with me being gay. It’s obvious that you still care about Brendon because you’re here and you’re supporting him—good job on making Amorephine and Eurie and forcing him to take it—with his house and his music career. You need to accept who he loves. It may take a while but you need to accept it. This isn’t an ‘experiment’ or a ‘phase’ this who he really is” My eyes flicker over to Brendon who looks like he might break at any second and then back to his mother. “Maybe you should leave and he’ll call you when he’s ready to talk?”

                “That might be best,” her voice no longer confident and shrill. “I love you Brendon and I’ll talk to you later” She scrambles to her feet and closes the door behind her.

                “Bren, are you alright?” I walk up towards his bed not sure how to approach him. Brent is here and all of that progress we just made may have been destroyed.

                “N-next to me,” he stutters out and pushes himself up against the bars of his hospital bed. “S-safe w-with you” I don’t let him say another word before our cell phones are out of my pocket and I’m curled up behind him stroking his hair. Is this what it was like when I melted down on him in the pool? Of course what happened to Brendon was worse but is this what it was like?

                “So. If you really want to you can spend a lot on my gift. If you want to. I don’t mind. I can give a few ideas and I’ll call Spencer and William and Keltie so that they can help you plan. If you want to go all out that’s okay. Whatever you want, Brendon” Should I kiss the back of his head? Should I not even touch him and just stay like this pressed up against him?

                “When Gabe brought me breakfast it was laced with a very low dose of Amorephine. Strong enough to cause me to want to rip his clothes off and not strong enough to cause actual feelings for. I didn’t realize it until you were about to storm out. I bribed the nurse to let me take the bloodwork tomorrow so that no one would know that I had Amorephine in my system. There’s still small traces of Amorephine from when my parents forced me to take it so I had to bribe someone else. I just want to go back to our bed when nothing could hurt us and we were happy,” he sobs out his body shaking. “Before Brent came here to destroy my life again”

                “Hey—hey—I’m here. I won’t let him hurt you again. I might not look like much but I know guys who know guys who knows guys that could beat him up” Brendon chuckles his body and heart monitors relaxing. “You only have another week to go”

                “A week is too long. I want to be home with you—if you accept my apology and still want me”

                “Of course I still want you, you silly boy. When I stormed out I could only think about you. You were on my mind the entire time. Spencer—who doesn’t like me by the way—knocked some sense into me and we were about to get you a freaking do—“

                “You were about to get me a dog,” he deadpans and then giggles.

                “Her name was Penny and she was adorable. I wanted to apologize for storming out”

                “So you tried to get me a dog to say that you were sorry”

                “Well—they didn’t let us take her home today. They said that they had to process the application. A whole lot of bullsh—“

                “You’re such a dork, Ryan—a loveable dork—but a dork,” he says with a laugh. I can’t help but smile and press my lips carefully into his dirty hair that hasn’t been washed in days.

                I just want to cheer him up and have him know that he’s loved for every inch and every quirk that he may have. I want him to know that I will never hurt him like Brent did and Gabe did. I can’t imagine what my life would be like without Brendon. He’s the guy who saved me and I wish that I could save him but I don’t know how to. I don’t know how to save him and help him process what happened with Brent. I don’t even know how he managed to act so happy when he was so hurt and broken. He was able to move on so quickly after what happened back in California. He didn’t even press charges or tell anyone before he left. Brendon needs to tell someone.

                “I don’t think that I want to see my parents again. Could you tell them I don’t want to talk to them again?” he whispers, his voice barely audible over the machines.

                I sigh and pull my lips away his hair, “You got shot, Ryan. They’re worried about you”

                “You were really sexy when you stood up to my mother like that. Most people are scared shitless of her. Sarah was even scared of her and this was before my mother turned into who she is now. My parents almost got me killed because of what they do. I don’t want them around anymore, Ryan”

                “There’s always Skype. They won’t have to be here and you can still talk with the—Stop,” my voice comes out mangled as Brendon grinds his ass up against me.

                “Like I had said— _extremely_ sexy” He quickly stops and wraps my limp arms around his waist. And I thought that I was the tease.

                “You—can’t do that,” I breathe out onto his neck. “We can’t do that in the hospital, no matter how bad I want to. You haven’t healed yet, Bren” Emotionally and physically.

                “If we can’t do that in the hospital then I can’t see my parents while I’m still here,” his voice oozes with venom. “At least when I’m healed I can run away if I need to. I ran back in California and I’ll run again”

                “I can’t run with you. I have a life here”

                “I wouldn’t run with you, Ryan,” his voice soft. He—he wouldn’t want me to come with him. I was stupid to assume that he would.

                “That’s—alright. I understand,” I bite down on my lip.

                “Most of my life was spent dodging attempts to hurt me and my parents. When I was in college I was under a different name so that no one knew who I really was. I don’t even know he found out who my parents were. I had never mentioned them—or who they were at least. I can’t let you get hurt because of me. Getting shot wasn’t the worse that it’s been in the past,” he breathes out as he runs his hand along one of mine.

                “I thought that I was safe here. But I’m not safe anywhere. Not from my parents and not from him,” he sobs out as his chokes out another body shaking cry. I immediately pull my arms away from him and roll him over to face me then wrap my arms around him. “He’s going to always going to find me even when he’s not here. He’s always there in the back in my mind. I try to push him out of my mind but I can’t. Even when I was with you he was there. He told me that I was worthless and that you don’t really love me. He said that you only love me when I’m having sex with you,” he cries out and presses his face into my chest as his body shakes beneath my arms.

                He thinks that I don’t love him if he doesn’t have sex with me. This—God. This isn’t fair for him. Not at all. And I don’t know how to help him. William would be better at this. Anyone would be better with this. My brain never seems to catch up my mouth and I never know what to say. But I have to try even if it means embarrassing myself in the worse way possible.


	11. Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I rub my hands up and down his back slowly and then sigh knowing that I could embarrass myself and be laughed at.

**Chapter 11: Moon**

* * *

                I rub my hands up and down his back slowly and then sigh knowing that I could embarrass myself and be laughed at. But here’s goes nothing. I open my mouth and start to sing into Brendon’s ear, “I know the worlds a broken bone, but melt your headaches call it home. Hey moon, please forget to fall down, hey moon, don’t you fall down” His body instantly relaxes, the choked sobs seeming to have never existed except for the evidence of my snow tear soaked shirt.

                “Why’d you stop?” He asks his voice soft and muffled from his face being pressed up against my chest.

                “I don’t have the rest of the lyrics written. I wrote it after Jon came out to his parents. I never really wrote anything after that. My voice isn’t the strongest either,” I shrug and continue rubbing my hands up and down his back.

                “But I love your voice and everything about you,” he pulls his face away from my chest. His eyes are red and bright, snot running down his nose like a faucet that won’t stop. But he still looks amazing and beautiful. “I didn’t even know that you could sing. I knew that you could play guitar but that’s about it”

                “I haven’t played guitar in two years. Haven’t had the time or the money to get my guitar fixed and it didn’t really feel worth it,” I pause and press my lips up to his sweaty forehead. “I love you too, Brendon. I love you no matter what. If we don’t ever have sex again—fine with me—I still love you. If you can’t cook—that’s fine—I still love you. If you force me to watch Disney movies for the rest of my life” Brendon interrupts with a snot filled laugh. “Then I’ll still love you. If you want to run—I’ll still love you and I will come with you. But let’s try and not make this a Romeo and Juliet story. I have a lot to live for. Like seeing William and Spencer get together”

                “Spencer likes William?!” His face brightens and I can’t help but chuckle. There’s my Brendon that I love.

                “Yeah. I told him about how me and William had made ou—“

                “You and William had made out?”

                “William had wanted to make sure that neither of us had feelings for each other. He was drunk. I was high. It just kind of happened. We felt nothing we moved on. Anyways. I told Spencer about what happened and he was completely into it. He looked like he was ready to start jerking himself off right in the car. And that’s when I found out that he has a giant crush on William” I casually leave out the part where Spencer kissed me and that Jon had cheated on me too. Too much of the past isn’t a good thing to bring into a new relationship especially because of what just happened with Brendon.

                “We could go on double dates now! This could be so much fun! Do you know if Spencer has told him yet?” I don’t think I’ve ever seen Brendon happier. It doesn’t take much to make him happy.

                “I don’t think that he’s told him yet. When he last talked to William his exact words were: I’m going to cut off Gabe’s penis with a chainsaw. Knowing William he probably found one and is chasing Gabe around the outside of the hospital” Brendon chuckles and then winces. “Are you alright? Am I hurting you? Do you need more morphine? I know that your mom said that you needed some more”

                “It’s fine—I’m fine. Gunshots to the stomach aren’t the best in the world. I’ve had busted kneecaps, broken bones but never a gunshot”

                “You never played sports did you?” He gives me a sheepish grin and shakes his head no. “We’ll be back at home soon. You should really talk to your parents soon. About them not accepting you and _him._ William, me, Spencer, Pete, and Patrick are here. I’m not pressuring you but it’s an option”

                “Haven’t you heard? According to the world men can’t be raped. They must enjoy sex all of the time no matter what,” he snaps and digs his nails into my back. “Don’t forget about the fake rape reports. Who would believe me? I have no proof. They couldn’t do a rape kit on me. There’s no evidence to put him away, Ryan. And I don’t want to have to testify—I can’t do that”

                “You don’t have to. You don’t have to anything of that. Just know that it’s an option if you want to do it. At least tell Zack though. He’s the one who is supposed to protecting you”

                “What a protector he is storming into my room with a loaded gun and having to be sedated”

                “He still cares about you. He’s accepted you for who you are”

                “Let’s just—wait till after your party,” his voice growing tired and whiny. After the drama filled day—seriously though I could write a book based on my life so far—I would expect that he’s exhausted.

                “That’s fine. It’s up to you. You can make your own choices. Just know that I’ll be here and so will so many of your new friends,” I kiss the top of his head, humming under my breath.

                “So were you really going to get me a dog?” Brendon’s fingernails detaching from my back as he rests his head on my shoulder.

                “I still plan on getting you a dog. Paperwork still needs to go and then we can pick out beds and collars and toys. She’ll be the most spoiled puppy on the planet” I rest my chin on his head and sigh happily.

                “What if my parents cut me off and don’t support me anymore?”

                “They won’t do that. Your mother does love you. I can tell by how she backed off and left the room when you needed space. They may have already accepted you deep down but they don’t want to admit it. They won’t cut you off and they do love you”

                “Your parents will accept you too,” his breathing slowing down now matching my own.

                “That would be the perfect birthday gift,” I slowly close my eyes and then yawn, feeling sleep suddenly taking over. I hadn't realized how tired I was. “You’re really my birthday present though," I say through a yawn. I quickly fall asleep, the warmth and happiness quickly taking over.


	12. Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh just let him sleep, William—put away the sharpie! We are not drawing a dick on his face! I’m your boyfriend not your mother!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short chapter today, sorry.   
> Spring Break is coming up this upcoming week so I'll be writing a whole lot more!   
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter!

**Chapter 12: Twenty**

* * *

                “Oh just let him sleep, William—put away the sharpie! We are not drawing a dick on his face! I’m your boyfriend not your mother!” I hear Spencer exclaim as soon as I wake up. Brendon’s body underneath me shakes with laughter. William and Spencer are together? That quickly? And Brendon’s awake? Did he even go to sleep?

                “He draws birds on his face for fucks sake—having a penis on his face won’t be that big of a shock for him,” William states.

                “There’s a huge difference between penises and birds, William. Just let him sleep,” Brendon whispers and runs his hands down my back. My body involuntarily shivers to which Brendon laughs. “I think that we may have already woken him up”

                “Nu—huh—‘mma still asleep,” I mumble out into Brendon’s shoulder, my throat dry.

                “I guess we’ll have to just carry him into the car then,” Spencer says from what sounds like the chair next to Brendon’s bed. I’m not leaving Brendon here. They will have to physically remove me from him. Not after what just happened with Gabe and his mother.

                “I’m not leaving Brendon here,” I state defiantly wrapping my arms around him tightly. Brendon sighs and kisses the top of my head leaving his lips there and then moving them. I sigh softly.

                “You’re going to stay with Spencer until the windows are fixed” I open my mouth to protest but Brendon quickly interrupts, “Zack is going to stay with me to make sure that nothing happens to me. Whoever went after me—police are still investigating who was it was—could go after you and I don’t want that to happen so that’s why you have to stay with Spencer. It’s safer for both of us and for William and Spencer especially since my parents are now in town. There’s a giant target on our backs now”

                “What about him?” I whisper into his ear.

                Brendon sighs and whispers into my ear, “I told Zack not to let him in and to tell him to fuck off if he even tried to visit”

                “Did you tell Spencer and William?” Another whisper into his ear.

                “A few things should be kept between us,” he whispers into my ear again.

                “I don’t feel good about this. Leaving you alone while you’re hurting after what happened with Gabe and your mom an—“

                “Spencer picked up some of your clothes from my house so that you won’t have to sleep naked,” Brendon quickly snaps and directs his statement to the whole room. “You two should leave soon. They’re waking me up early in the morning for some more tests” I quickly open my eyes and groan, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. My stomach growls in protest as I move my arms and sit up in Brendon’s hospital bed.

                “We can get something to eat on the way back to my place and maybe go online shopping. I swiped Brendon’s credit card,” Spencer chuckles in the chair next to the bed.

                “Oh please—use it. My parents’ money needs to be spent as fast as possible,” Brendon groans and then stretches, “Fuck—shouldn’t have done that”

                “Forgot about your stitches? Did you pop them? I can get a nurse,” my voice instantly frantic as I stare down at Brendon’s wincing form in a hospital gown.

                “I’m fine, Ry—go have fun with Spencer and talk about your boyfriends. I’ll be in here in the morning,” he smiles.

                “Ryden—just kiss already so that I can go home and continue blogging,” William rolls his eyes with a smirk. “Brendon told me that you two have a couple name. Me and Spencer need one now” Spencer instantly blushes and rubs the back of his neck.

                “How did you tell him? Big romantic proposal? Did you declare your undying love for him?” I clasp my hands over my heart and flutter my eyelashes.

                “I stopped him from killing Gabe with a plastic knife in the cafeteria,” Spencer states calmly. I don’t whether to laugh or applaud him for stopping William. Probably a little bit of both.

                “I wasn’t going to kill him! Just some plastic surgery to hi—“

                “He was going to Lorena Bobbitt him”

                “You were going to cut off his penis and throw it out the window?” Brendon asks with chuckle as he sits up in bed.

                “With a plastic knife?” I chime in.

                “Haven’t you ever heard of keeping your cutlery to yourself?” Brendon adds.

                “It’s better to face these kind of things with a metal knife,” I comment with a smile. Brendon high fives me with another laugh.

                “Laugh it all up, Mr. Mute and Mr. Smoothie,” William sticks his tongue out at us as he stands up against the wall.

                “Silliam?” Spencer asks with a shrug.

                “Wencer,” William announces with a smile while gazing at Spencer.

                “Is that how we are?” I elbow Brendon who smirks.

                “I think that we’re about ten times worse,” he smiles and then presses his lips against mine. Maybe twenty times worse.


End file.
